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Popular end of life planning (mis) conceptions

Updated: May 21

Popular mis conceptions about end of life planning are:


1 You need to be old, dying or sick

2 It involves making a Will and that's it.


This is not the case in either. (although making a Will is a very important part in this!)


There is a lot more that needs to be considered and put in place. Unless you have experienced the death of a loved ones you would not necessarily find this out, and often when it's too late! The saying, “People don’t know what they don’t know” is very true for all of us.


My personal experiences of having both my mum and my dad dying by the time I was 27 gave me a good introduction to this. (of which I did not have a clue and did not cope well with both emotionally or practically).


I remember so well when my sister and I went to the florist to pick out the flowers for the funeral. We were both totally devastated after losing mum. I felt so raw and numb and completely vulnerable.


The lady behind the counter was asking what we would like written on the card. It was the HARDEST thing ever and yet such a seemingly simple task in the grand scheme of organising a funeral. My sister and I both remember this so clearly 35 years later!


Now imagine having to make a multitude of decisions whilst in this state of shock and grieving, like what style coffin would you like? is it cremation or burial? Traditional hearse or electric hearse? Who will conduct the funeral? Where’s the wake it be held? You get my point.


More recently I had the absolute honour and privilege of supporting of a dear friend after she got diagnosed with cancer at the young age of 48 and very sadly died 14 months later. It was a total eye opener acting as her Executor and being the main organizer of taking care of all the practicalities involved both before and after her death.


There is a LOT to know and do.


BUT if the person has everything in place beforehand it is a hundred times easier both practically and emotionally for those left, having had all the difficult decisions decided on beforehand.

For example:


Would your loved ones know if you wanted a peaceful last moments on your deathbed or going out to the tunes of Abba?


How much money have you set aside for your loved ones to pay for your funeral?


What is to be done with your journals, private letters or photos?


If you had a stroke, a sudden accident or had advanced Dementia, and were not able to communicate your wishes, would you want to be resuscitated? (even if it meant having irreversible brain damage or unable to ever wash or dress yourself again?)


What is a Lasting Powers of Attorney and why would I need one?


What do all the unfamiliar and legal terms mean in everyday language?


Over the course of 8 weeks we will address all of these points and documents (and more!) in a way that is manageable and tailored for YOU.


We will address your specific needs, and work at a pace that suits you, in a relaxed way, and you will have all the support you need.


Message me if you want to learn more about this.

Mala xx

(photo of me with my dear friend Nirjana)




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